2020年からのパンデミック中、海外はもとより国内の移動も制限された時期があった。その際に自宅近くの川沿いの道を歩くことが増え、いつしかカメラで川を撮るようになった。
毎日、繰り返すうち、ルートや撮影する時刻が定まってくる。「どうして夕暮れに川の写真ばかりを撮りたくなるのだろう」と自分でも不思議に思った。それは習慣というより、「その場所、その時刻でなくてはならない何か」だった。
その「何か」がなんなのか、 写真を見ているうちに気づいた。これは過去の自分の視点ではないかと。
小学校2年生まで、川の近くの家に住んでいた。学校から帰るとランドセルを家に置き、川へ行って毎日のように遊ぶ。友達と行くこともあれば一人で行くこともあった。
そのときの、ふと気づくと辺りが暗くなり、川の流れる音が存在感を増している状況。 楽しかった心が急に不安に包まれてしまう感覚。それらが未来を見通しづらくなった今の感情と、重なっているように思えた。
During the pandemic from 2020, there was a time when travel was restricted within the country as well as abroad. At that time, I began to walk along the riverside path near my house more often, and I started to take pictures of the river with my camera before long.
As I repeated the process every day, the route and time of day became more and more fixed. I wondered to myself, “Why do I only want to take pictures of the river at dusk? It was not a habit, but rather “something that I had to do at that place and time.
As I looked at the photos, I realized what that “something” was. I realized as I looked at the photos that this was the perspective of my past self.
Until I was in the second grade of elementary school, I lived in a house near the river. When I came home from school, I would leave my school bag at home and go to the river to play every day. Sometimes I would go with friends and sometimes alone.
At that time, I suddenly found myself in a situation where it was dark and the sound of the river was becoming more and more present. The feeling of a happy heart suddenly being enveloped in anxiety seemed to overlap with the feelings I have now, when it is difficult to foresee the future.